Humans are beautiful. Every single one. I am overwhelmed by the Love of a Father and how He invites everyone to the table to partake of it.
Tonight was an interesting string of events that all led to this one:
An older woman who is currently homeless approached me at a Starbucks, and I ended up taking her a few places she needed to go. It was an incredible exercise in listening to Papa’s voice and holding boundaries as I felt I was released to do a and b but not c, etc; I ended up taking her more places than I had planned but felt unexpected grace and desire to do so, and I said no to buying her certain things, even though I could have, based on a gut feeling – the hardest one for me to say no to was a blanket. I really wanted to buy her a blanket but, because my own rent just barely eeked by today and I felt Papa saying no, I let it go and said no. Until recent breaking of old habits and setting of boundaries, that’s when the ol credit card would have come out – I’m growing! YAY! HA!
When I brought her to her end destination and said goodbye, a young homeless man walked straight up to her and said, “I’m sorry, ma’am, for not doing this sooner, but I felt Daddy tell me to give this to you last week because I have others, and I just didn’t do it til now.” He tried to hand her a fleece blanket with Christmas decor all over it! She continually refused it, not wanting to inconvenience him or take something he might need, so he gave it to me and walked away, saying, “I assume you’ll have better luck getting her to take it.” Fortunately, I did!
– Humanity is not doomed, ugly, or beyond hope. Beauty is built into every single person, but not every single person chooses to slow down and see it. “Stop and smell the roses” is not just a frivolous cliche. It’s much more profound than that.
– No matter what you have or don’t have, you have more than enough if you have Papa’s love.
– Papa God knows all our needs and our desires, and He is never late in providing. Sometimes, however, it is us who reject His hand out of shame/feeling unworthy or miss it because it’s not how we expected it to happen.
– Just because you “can”, doesn’t mean you “should”. Papa wanted that young man to share in the joy that comes of showing His love to others. Had I bought the blanket, I would have been out resources I need (bad self care/boundaries) and I would have denied that young man the ability to be a blessing and obey what God told him to do. Sometimes we need to keep our best intentions out of the way of God’s best.
– I also would have denied that woman supernatural provision! It’s so much more meaningful to know Papa set things in motion a week ago, foreknowing her need, than to just get a store-bought something or other. His ways are always better (and much more fun) than ours. He wanted her to know His eye is on her needs and future: He told me to say, “Hey.. I know you don’t want to take his blanket, but he said he has others and you are so worthy of gifts from Papa. He loves you so much that He knew you wouldn’t have money for a blanket tonight and set that young man in motion to give you one…because you are the daughter of a King, which means you’re a princess, and princesses get gifts just because they’re loved. And look! It’s CHRISTMAS! It’s Jesus’ birthday! And I happen to know that Jesus loves to give rather than receive so of course He’d be giving you a present on His birthday. He says He’s trying to shower you in gifts all the time but you keep rejecting them…this one, He really wants you to have because you are loved, and loved ones are provided for.”
– I will, no matter how much darkness or pain or horrificness I see, never stop loving people, because He loves them so so much. I will also apparently never stop weeping at even the smallest displays of pure beauty – like a man with nothing being so yielded to Papa’s voice that he’d give sacrificially to one with even less than he. Driving away, replaying that moment in my mind, the feeling hit me that that woman was one of the most beautiful I’d ever seen, and the tears poured forth.
What an honor it is to be trusted with moments as precious as these…I pray that you, person who’s read this far, have the privilege of witnessing pure beauty and Papa’s love this week, and that when that time comes, you’ll have crazy awesome discernment to know what is yours to do, what is God’s to do, and what is to be left for someone else. Amen.