God has totally blown me away, again. In the whirlwind of the last few weeks of exams, final projects, planning, and moving, I was beginning to feel the old anxiety and panic creeping on, saying, “Yeah, sure.. God has been faithful and miraculous in the past, but you’re coming close to the end of His allotment.. He might not come through this time, so you need to be prepared.. Not every one always gets what they want.” So, as I panic and prepare for meager rations and small spaces and living modestly, He’s already planned for above and beyond and extravagance I don’t even need. And I do not write this to brag or to say that I’m special or ANYTHING remotely like that.. I write because I am one of the last people to deserve anything He’s done, yet he continues to bless me beyond my ability to fathom. I write this as a testimony that God can and WILL provide and a document of His working miracles in the daily lives of ordinary, unworthy people. This is the Father’s heart.. to lavish His children with gifts and fulfill their every need, even after they run away, squander their inheritance, and get themselves into huge messes. I mean, being a Christian does not mean a life of luxury.. quite the contrary! To serve God sometimes means to sacrifice and to be persecuted.. But man, He WILL take care of you through it all.
How’d He do it this time? Well, here I was panicking about being positive I needed to get up to Redding, CA, to Bethel Church to do Sozo training before Nepal but had no idea how to afford it. I was freaking out trying to find money and housing and rides… one by one, the pieces began to fall into place (like finding housing on a farm with other students, then being offered a car to use while there, then being bummed because I couldn’t get a ride up til Wednesday and come to find out two REALLY important things including the C28 photoshoot were happening Tuesday so God knew I needed to wait anyhow); I had a feeling the whole time of “Linds, just book it. Commit. It’ll happen.. just step out in faith.” Funny thing is, “You have not because you ask not” doesn’t even apply here.. He provided the funding and was asking me to have faith before I even realized I was going to need it. A friend of mine had written me a letter which has been sitting up in Poway for a week or so (I haven’t been back up “home” since it’s finals, so I didn’t know); when I opened it yesterday, I found a check for the amount I needed for the whole Sozo experience. This, mind you, is the day before I moved out of the dorms and into a home for the summer that is more like my own vacation resort.. He’s giving me an amazing retreat to recoup from a crazy semester, prepare for a crazy adventure in Nepal, and rest a little before the insanity of my senior year kicks in.
When God says, “GO!”, He ALWAYS makes a way. And because He loves us so much, that way is so much better than you can plan your way into on your own. Let go, and just flow through life as He directs.. He has it all worked out, so why worry.. instead, get excited to see how He’s gonna bail you out this time or how amazing His solution will be. Easy to say, hard to believe, I know! But, if I can encourage anyone to put down their packs for a moment and let God carry them for awhile, it’ll be worth it 🙂