Just a short thought about how things are going. God has made it clear He’s teaching me to trust Him right now, to the point where I actually laugh out loud when I notice Him doing it. Cases in point:
1. I began to panic because I needed to register for classes next semester as soon as the time came so I could be sure to get the classes I need to graduate; however, due to the financial aid office being somewhat difficult, I still had a financial hold on my account which prevented me from registering.. AND, when I went in to talk to them about it, the lady was out to lunch and the office was flooded with incoming students (orientation day). I left the lady a note on a post-it, thinking she’d never get to it on time. Low and behold, though, not even an hour later, she called to tell me she’d lifted the hold and I got to register on time.
2. I missed the deadline for on campus housing applications because I went and spoke to the coordinator who then didn’t send me the email she said she would. This is all after I was thinking I was rooming on campus with four other girls who got confused and replaced me. So, app deadline: Sunday. Facing tough housing situation for next year: Sunday night. Not one, but TWO amazing off-campus housing options with great girls in apts walking distance from campus: Monday morning. Amazing.. didn’t even have time to worry.
3. I haven’t been working, per-say, while in school and income has been scattered. However, EVERY TIME I begin to notice I’m coming to the dreaded “$20 left in my account.. ahh!!” stage, God provides a little more to get me by for awhile. I was almost negative.. tax return. Tax return starting to run low.. freelance design work and housesitting jobs. Beginning to panic waiting for that check.. photographer asks if I’ll assist at a wedding last weekend. Can’t connect with that photog right away.. two paid modeling gigs come in one right after the other. It’s been totally amazing.. JUST what I need comes RIGHT when I need it. I’m FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY getting to the point where I don’t even start to panic; I just calmly begin to wonder how God’s gonna do it this time whereas, in the past, I had anxiety attacks, panicked, cried, blew up at people, was super edgy, poured my upset/concern all over anyone who’d listen. But now, not only do I not panic, but I have been free to do my photography projects for school that I wanted to do, expensive as they are, without having a steady source of income. God not only covers my most basic needs, but He also takes the little things into account as well.. like a Daddy giving His child lunch money: The child doesn’t fear hunger because it knows that when the money runs out at the end of the week, Daddy will give him or her just enough on Monday to cover the next week.
It’s weird, because I have so much peace that I almost feel apathetic or lazy or something.. like, I SHOULD be concerned, but instead, I just wave it off and think, “Eh.. it’ll come.. God’s got it.” This is my attitude at the moment with my photography expenses and plane ticket to Nepal. I was worrying because I am paying for it with student loan money and didn’t want to get stuck with the full amount to pay off with interest, etc. But really, honestly.. I’m not even going to send out letters asking people for money. I know God has a plan and will supply funding how He sees fit……. and if He follows pattern, it’ll be miraculous and the DAY I leave.. lol 🙂