God really answers prayer and is totally our ultimate source of creativity and art. I truly believe that, especially after my past couple weeks. It’s like a light switch has been flipped in my head; after years of praying and wanting, He has finally released a wave of creative imagination in me that I haven’t had since I was a child.
I used to think up poetry faster than I could get it down in my journal, and I was constantly framing up the world before my eyes as photographs that could be taken. Lately, however, all of that has been silenced, and my anxiety has grown because, here I am an art major who never seems to come up with anything cool on my own. I was beginning to question whether I should be an artist at all, seeing as I am miles behind my classmates. But the passion and longing to be an artist has never left me; reason, anxiety, fear, and “well, what will you do to support yourself?”s never were able to completely squelch it, even when inspiration ran dry. I was just becoming badly depressed, thinking that I was always going to want to be something that I would never be.
Little by little this semester, God has bumped me into people who have both encouraged me in my art or offered to mentor me, so I began to take notice. Then, about a week ago, God dropped the bomb. My head is constantly going, faster than I can even process it, to the point where I’m DREAMING about artwork that I haven’t created yet. Poetry and photos are pouring out of me, and I can ACTUALLY remember them! Where I thought I didn’t have time to create even if I had an idea, God has made time, and where I thought I couldn’t afford to create, God has made provision. Where I thought I didn’t know how to create, God has said, “Just do it,” and I’ve figured it out. Case in point there is 1. My profile picture.. I saw it in a dream and had no idea how to do it, but I sat down Wednesday night and BAM, now look at it. 2. The slide I just did for my church (I freelance graphic design for them, a real blessing for a college kid like me); I was panicking because I dreamt about what I wanted it to look like (scrapbook, bright colors, construction paper) and woke up upset because I didn’t know how to do it. However, I sat down this morning, and in less than two hours, this is what we came up with: It is exactly what I saw in my dream.. I cried when I looked at the final product and felt God whispering, “Look what we can do together..”
This was amazing because I have been wanting God to reawaken the prophetic gifting He placed in me as a child to dream and see visions ever since I went to the healing conference a year ago and saw all the artists who God was obviously speaking through. Each one of them said that they make art WITH God, and I wanted that. Little did I know, but He wanted that, too.. I just wasn’t listening. I’m not saying that a powerpoint slide is an act of prophecy, but the process sure as heck was a rehearsal!
He also has opened up opportunities for me in the last week that assure me I will both graduate as an art major and actually have something substantial to work with for my senior show. I now have the opportunity to work under Steve Abruzzo who has incredible photos from Cambodia, Thailand, etc, in the style that I would like to do in Nepal with a similar vision. I also have been told by one of the chairs of the art dept that I could graduate with honors for my work in Nepal if I submit a proposal and do a show (which is what I had intended to do anyhow to raise awareness but was afraid because I wasn’t sure how to pull that off; now, I’ll have art dept mentoring and support!). On top of that, the other chair of the dept pulled me aside at the conference last weekend and offered to let me skip the prerequisites for his sculpture 2 class in the fall so I can learn gallery installation and mixed media upon coming home from Nepal. How awesome is God?! “He who calls you IS faithful, and He will do it“! He placed these desires in my heart and is now assuring me that it was not for nothing…